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There are numerous similarities between grief and the onset of depression. How? Let’s search for an answer to this question by considering the parallels and differences between grief and depression.
In his early research “Mourning and Melancholia,” Freud had touched upon this subject. In his opinion, he observes that sadness, or melancholy, as he refers to it, is a pathological kind of mourning that is quite similar to normal grief, with the exception of key traits, most notably the internal hostility toward a loved one. That is, a person blames himself and laments that he “did not save,” that “I could have done better.” Such self-accusations are frequently unreasonable and do not correlate to reality, which is exacerbated by shame, which is a major component of depression.
During the treatment period, it may appear that a depressed individual feels nothing. There is the absence of basic emotions and feelings such as connection to one of his parents, will of speaking with a friend, or going out. And, by a weird coincidence, the client discovers that he is little by little drowning into depression.
One of the most crucial steps in overcoming sorrow is to allow yourself to accept the suffering that has developed in you and to be with and in this anguish, no matter how difficult it may be for you.
The clinical presentation of grief is similar across cultures and has no bearing on religion or spiritual beliefs. People who have lost a loved one, as well as those who are afflicted with an incurable illness and their family, are termed grieving subjects.
Adaptation to stress, prompt psychological assistance, and self-help are more important than ever in our challenging times. You must realize that there is no such thing as grief; in most circumstances, a lot depends on whether a person observed the occurrence, became a victim or lost a loved one. It is not required to have “seven spans in the forehead” to recognize that what is happening in a mourning person’s spirit at this time is a true tragedy, genuine anguish.
A fundamental job for all of us is to provide reasonable pre-psychological help to our families. It should be acknowledged that every loss can result in sadness, significant changes in life, and the loss of a stable condition, with the death of a loved one, is the most difficult of all worldly losses.
No living creature is programmed to self-destruct in nature, and in order to balance the emotional state and maintain its integrity, our subconscious mind employs psychological defense mechanisms such as shifting habits.
In fact, all protective behaviors are not only energy-intensive but also unconscious. This distorts and falsifies perceptions of reality, making worry appear less scary. When people are suffering, they frequently engage in the following protective behaviors:
Do not be afraid or assume there is anything wrong with you; this is a natural reaction to a traumatic life event. Another consideration is that if a person engages in these protective actions for an extended period of time and is unwilling to embrace the new reality, it will be a difficult test for himself, his environment, and will cause more harm than good.
This state can last anywhere from a few minutes and several weeks. The rule of three does not apply here – I do not feel, speak, or think. Many people, fortunately, overcome this on their own. Stress can also cause delayed responses.
During this time, the most common state is stupor, detachment from reality, in which a person is unaware of what he is doing or saying… The world has turned its back on inner experiences. During this time, the body’s reserves are depleted on both a physical and emotional level, as seen by a loss of strength, self-deprecation, and a sense of powerlessness.
Tears are the primary means of releasing accumulated emotional release; hence, public sobbing is generally prohibited. In most cases, this results in an even more aggressive and uncontrollable reaction in emotionally charged persons. The essential responsibility in such a case is to take the bereaved individual away and give him time alone where he may cool down and recover faster without “spectators.”
Fear is our fundamental protective feeling; it is the foundation of denial and rejection in the face of an overwhelming scenario. A person is terrified of all that has occurred and everything that may happen in the future. He refuses to accept reality and attempts to flee his raging emotions. Usually, this wish is not fulfilled, and the grief is buried even deeper. Everything that reminds one of a departed person is interpreted differently due to anguish and suffering.
On average, the intense grief stage lasts around 7 weeks following a death, and the conclusion of this phase is marked by a decrease in fear of loss and acceptance of what happened as a true truth. At this point, it is critical to give assistance on all levels of mental, physical, and social living.
During the denial stage, emotional outbursts are common, and internalized dread and panic are turned into feelings of guilt, humiliation, contempt, and rage. A person lives in his own made-up reality and is unaware of it. This is a challenging stage of grief; it is critical to begin working with emotions and giving them a proper outlet.
You can proceed to sort out the painful event via the lens of the past once the mourning person has understood the fatality of what happened. If a person continues to carry all of his experiences inside himself, he will suffer bodily and emotional injury (auto aggression). If it empties his body, he should seek support from others.
Sedatives are frequently used during this period to try to mask the anguish of loss. You do not need to do this if there is no doctor’s advice, as it slows down the natural mourning process. During this time, it is worthwhile to rely on the support of relatives, friends, or relatives, and time will help you prioritize your own life: someone will support a sincere conversation, someone will find relief in religion, someone will begin writing memoirs or engage in charitable activities, someone will go to work or care for others.
The aim of grieving is to relieve the tension of memories, fill the void that has arisen, and assist in distancing oneself from the catastrophe and totally accepting it as a part of one’s history. This is a severe stage of grief that can endure anywhere from a year to several years. In this stage, a person accepts responsibility for his or her actions, life, and the actions of others.
The actions taken to get healed is the most important factor in this stage. You should be aware of who you are and exactly what you expect from yourself. It’s the best way to get out of the grieving state.
It’s better to let your emotions out whenever dealing with the loss of a close person. When hiding everything inside the grief slowly turns into depression. It’s a matter of time. For one person it can take weeks to deal with the stress and grief while for another person it may last even years. Our environment also affects highly on how we feel and deal with our emotions. In fact, you cannot fully forget the negative emotions but you start to let them out.
It’s normal to have a loss of appetite, to feel like you can do nothing. Let you feel sad, be lazy and even lay down in bed for some days. But try to speak your emotions out and it would be way better to contact the psychologist. Your relatives can try to support you. It’s surely important and you need it. Caring for you and letting others care for you is the most important factor of healing.
Disclaimer; In case you have thoughts of suicide, weight changes, you feel lost for a long time, see a psychologist and undertake therapy. If your loved ones were in hospice care, they generally provide after-death psychological support for the family members.
